My son

It is funny when you realize your baby is no longer a baby and now a boy. We were at the dentist yesterday and TJ had to get a tooth repaired (it grew with a hole in it) and he had to have a shot to numb his mouth. It was our first experience with this, and if any of you know my fear of the big bad dentist, you can imagine how I was feeling. I was trying so hard to be brave for my little boy. I have always tried to keep my irrational (some would say) fear of the dentist hidden from my kids, so I was telling him how easy it would be and how brave he was. So the story goes like this...we are sitting in the office, they call his name, he casually walks back to the room and jumps in the chair (no fear I tell you...I see the chair and my hands start sweating). They put on his bib and "prep" him (you don't understand how fearful I am of this...I almost started crying). So I say to him "TJ, do you want me to hold your hand?" and he has the nerve to say to me...."nope mom, I'm good" WHAT??? "your good?!?" It hit me like a ton of bricks, it happened without me noticing. He didn't need me to hold his hand anymore. He is growing up. He is a big boy. How many other things does he not need me for anymore, and how many other things is he going to grow out of, that I won't recognize missing until they are already gone. I praise the Lord that He has made me aware of the time change...of how FAST all goes by with kids. And yet, even aware I miss so much! I am blessed beyond measure to be home with my loves and yet feel as though I have missed so much without realizing it. The Lord has given me a passion for my job. I LOVE staying home, I was born to be a wife and a mother. I can't imagine what it would be like to not live your dream. Because I truly am living it. I am so thankful for a husband who finds it necessary for me to stay home with our children.

In saying all of this it makes me think to Christmas and what we are celebrating next week. I think of the first few weeks of TJ's life, and what it was like and I look back to Mary and what it must have been like for her. She knew not what was going to be asked of her when it came to her son. Because though many of us forget, she was human, she experienced what we would experience when it comes to raising a child. She cried over his split knees, she loved him, not only as her Savior but as her son. Mary was an amazing woman, can you imagine containing yourself at the foot of your child's cross? Can you imagine watching as your child was scorned? Can you imagine continuing to trust in the Lord after your child has been killed, when you know him to be innocent. When you know him to be God? I think about how often as a human she would have second guessed herself. How often would she have to return to her knees begging for forgiveness when she questioned his Lordship?

John MacArthur says

"Why did God choose Mary? Not because she was perfect, but because it suited His good pleasure and perfect plan. The issue was not Mary's individual worthiness or human merit, it was God's sovereign choice. God's special blessing to Mary boldly highlights the truth that the Lord grants abundant grace to His chosen ones."

In examining this and the blessing of the children God has bestowed upon us, I think it isn't because of who I am, or what I can add to the life of these children. But, it is for His good pleasure and perfect plan. Praise the Lord that He has bestowed His grace on us.